Attempted Rapture, Cry On Cue and the Loss of Innocence Theme

Attempted Rapture, re-released in 2011, originally published in 2004, has a strong “Loss of Innocence” theme – one strong enough to classify it as a Christian novel. The book was released in a “Saint Edition” and a “Sinner Edition”, and each catered to a different audience, as well as different perspective on life.

Where does the idea of the loss of innocence come from? We see this recurring them in new, classic and ancient literature, from To Kill a Mockingbird to even the latest installment in the Harry Potter series.

Historically, the loss of innocence theme may well have descended from biblical allusions, specifically in the loss of innocence experienced by a sinful Adam and Eve, as well as the analogy of the blood of a lamb, a sinless sacrifice. The loss of innocence theme is often thought of as a tragedy in religious literature and philosophy, and in a pejorative sense when considered by a cynic.

According to perspective, the loss of a person’s innocence could imply a loss merely of ignorance, or perhaps even a humbling fall from a standpoint of assumed moral superiority. What seems to be a recurring theme in literature is that loss of innocence theme, though often lamented universally, largely depends on perspective.

In Attempted Rapture this concept is explored from two extremes: loss as a moral tragedy and loss as a step towards progressive thinking. What remains to be seen is how innocence lost will be represented in the re-release, according to both a Christian conscience, and an irreligious point-of-view.

But all of that is just intellectual garble. Perhaps the more logical approach is to draw crude cartoon stick figures, in the style of “Ulysses for Dummies”, which has apparently gone off the Internet.  But that didn’t stop us from boldly using the same cheesy 1990s concept to sell this rather complicated synopsis because we remain blissfully unaware of trends in web design.

(*Text and art donated generously by The Mitchell Warren Museum)

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Mitchell Warren’s Attempted Rapture is awaiting its publication in 2004. This tale of three antiheroes in good old southern living “Radrick County” is a remarkable story of  blasphemy, faith, honor, nihilism, social relevance and macabre humor. The story of Anne McNamary, her sister Amara Stallart, and the returning stranger Hal Persill, reflect the complexity of sentient morality and human nature.

However, the average reader has never heard of Mister Warren’s Opus. Laden with absurd literary references and ridden with inexplicable sexual symbolism, the book’s reputation as an “unpublishable” work is certainly standing strong. This is a shame, because Warren very rarely tries to communicate with other human beings, much less write for a mainstream general readership.

Therefore, since many have been writing to with the claim that the website preview is “confusing”, together with the fact that From Hunger’s Ulysses For Dummies parody was really asking for it, and we’re actually big fans of IDG Incorporated–we’ve decided to present an exclusive “For Idiots” explanation of the highly experimental novel Attempted Rapture.

So join us as a rather egregiously drawn Mitchell introduces the lesson…




Attempted Rapture for Idiots




This is the storm approaching.




This is the storm spawning tornadoes.



Part 1: What started out a peaceful day of Spring, Calm, Fertility & Freedom

quickly turned into an evening of severe weather. Notice the many flying people.

They are probably very afraid. Or dead.




This is Hal Persill, back from New York.




This is Hal Persill celibate.



Part 2: Hal Persill returns home from New York City only to find

that “home” is no longer the sweet, simple place he remembers.

It could be the drastic change that occurred in his hometown, or

the news of his friend’s suicide that’s troubling Hal.

But it could also be that he’s been “without” for quite some time.




This is Amara Stallart & her happy family.




This is Amara Stallart on sleepless nights.



Part 3: Amara Stallart can’t sleep. Despite love for her husband, her father,

God, and everyone else who is close to her, she feels something is missing.




This is Anne McNamary on Christianity.




This is Anne McNamary on Free Thinking.



Part 3: Anne McNamary is Amara Stallart’s older sister,

and the black sheep of the ultra-religious McNamary family.

She lives somewhere in the surrounding city, exiled from good old townsfolk like us.


And the critics were bemused.




This ends Attempted Rapture For Idiots.

On behalf of all of us here at The Late Mitchell Warren Museum
we urge you to relax, pop a pill, and remember:

It’s Just A Story.


Cry on Cue 16


Mitchell Warren and Floren Felvturn’s Cry On Cue is awaiting its publication in December 2004. This tale of two antiheroes forced to take court-ordered therapy because of self-destructive sexual behavior is a remarkable story of easy British tarts, faithfulness, lying bastards who claim they’re in love with you, the futility of life, anti chick-lit satire and hamsters. The story of Floren Felvturn and Paula Brakken, the strange men in their lives, and their prudish, utterly humorless doctors, reflect the complexity of the unmedicated and loony female mind and more importantly the instinctive madness that affects all of humanity.

However, the average reader has never heard of Misses Floren’s Opus. Laden with absurd literary references and ridden with inexplicable sexual analogies, the book’s reputation as a “chick-lit” satire is certainly standing strong. This is a shame because the ruttish Floren thinks very highly of both male and female readers who mean so much more to her than just mainstream sex toys for her general amusement. Therefore, since our Attempted Rapture For Idiots page was so popular last time around–together with the fact that From Hunger’s Ulysses For Dummies parody creator hasn’t threatened us with a lawsuit—we’ve decided to present an exclusive “For Idiots” explanation of the highly experimental novel.

So join us as a rather egregiously drawn Floren introduces the lesson…



“Hello, I am Floren Felvturn. If you are
a gimboid or lacking in mental prowess,
you may need big words and simple
pictures to really understand something.
So listen up, Herbert. Here goes.”


Cry on Cue for Idiots


This is Floren Felvturn.




This is Floren propositioning total strangers.





This is Paula Brakken and her precocious daughter Taffy.




This is Paula being an unfit mother.





This is Doctor Lamron and Doctor Rateur.

Their patients have been court ordered to undergo therapy.



This is Floren and Paula not taking the news so well.




This is a hamster.




This is a hamster’s privacy being invaded.





One guy doesn’t get it. The other does.


This ends Cry On Cue For Idiots. On behalf of all
of us here at The Late Mitchell Warren Museum we
urge you to chillax, bat on a sticky wicket, and remember:

It’s Just A Story.

Or is it?

Yes it is.