By: Sh
Parisa is a single young woman. She is 23 years old and she lives in the same small town as Ahmad, with her mother and her divorced older sister, Masomeh and Masomeh’s 6 year old daughter. Parisa is a prostitute, just as her mother and her three divorced older sisters.
Her brother lives next door with his wife. Her father moved out of the house years ago and lives in another house out in the desert, where he tends to his orchard and his sheep. He is a drinker and an opium smoker and he almost never sees his wife and daughters. He wants nothing to do with them.
Parisa has been working as a prostitute since she was 17. She doesn’t feel she was forced or persuaded into it, but she had chosen it herself over ending up the slave and servant (wife) of some guy. She owns a Peugeot 206 (car) now and goes wherever she wants freely, and according to herself “fucks who she wants, when she wants it.”
In this town, women rarely own their own car and young women are never allowed to drive anywhere on their own. Women in this area must stay at home, and this is what the women themselves consider “proper behavior.”
The women all hate Parisa. Mothers tell their daughters that she is a whore (a broken, damaged woman) and that they are forbidden from socializing with her or her family. Young girls understand this perfectly; if they are seen hanging out with Parisa or her sister, everyone in the village will be talking about it and they will have the worst rumors and labels hanging around their necks, which will prevent them from finding a good husband.
In small rural towns, reputation is everything, and people (except Parisa and her family) are extremely concerned with what other people say and think about them.
And yet, pretty much every woman in town envies Parisa because she is an independent woman, sexually liberated and free to experience the world as she pleases.
Parisa and her sisters are thin, tall, white and strikingly beautiful, and they are basically the object of lust for every man in town. Their customers are however mostly from out of town, and they don’t give the time of day to any of the “rural men” from their own village who they see as unsophisticated barbarians.
Parisa used to be exquisitely beautiful. She was breathtaking; really angelic gorgeous with alluring waist length black hair and haunting green eyes. There was always a touch of childlike candor and playfulness in her smile that I’ll never forget. But these days she’s looking more and more depressed, broken, tired (exhausted really) and old to my eyes. She started smoking opium a few years ago and now she’s heavily addicted. She smokes with her mother and sister every day.
Other than her family, she has no friends to hang out with at all. No woman will be her friend or spend time with her because they see her as a “dirty whore” and men just want to get in her pants, and they treat her like trash afterwards. She says that deep down in her heart, she feels she would gladly give up her income, her car and her freedom if a good man would marry her, love her and be her friend. But she says she knows that no one wants to marry a whore, and certainly no man could love a woman who has been touched and fucked by hundreds of men.
In this part of the world, a girl’s virginity is basically the most important requisite for finding a husband. No man is in the least inclined to marry and support a girl who has slept with another man. And cheating on your spouse is the most unforgivable sin, for a man or woman. A woman who finds out her man has cheated on her probably won’t be able to ever look at or touch him again; she’ll just cry for weeks and feel disgusted with herself.
Parisa and her family own a couple of cows that they keep in their barn. They sell milk, cheese, butter, cream, etc. that they make themselves, for additional income.
Young boys go to their house to buy milk just so they can look at the girls who don’t usually care to cover themselves up to come to the door. In this area, boys pretty much never see a woman without hijab until they marry their wife. Women even wear hijab in their own homes and so do their young daughters; they feel more comfortable this way.
One of Parisa’s sisters was married to a man in the city. She used to serve customers in their home when her husband was away. One day the husband comes home and finds two guys fucking his wife. He filed for divorce. She still lives in the city and works to support herself.
Parisa’s mother has a deep hate for men that she expresses openly all the time. Parisa is pretty much prejudiced to view men as objects to squeeze for money, and she shares her mothers hate for men, who she describes as “disgusting animals.”
Early fall last year Parisa told me that she had decided to “go straight” so she got a job as a secretary in the city. She described how on her third day her boss asked her to stay after hours for some extra work if she wanted to. She was too naive and “rural” to realize what this meant so she stayed.
Apparently he called her into his office, closed the door and started touching her and rubbing himself against her. She tried to refuse at first, but he told her that if she didn’t comply she should find another place to work, and then he practically forced himself on her.
She stopped going to work after that.
Parisa says she feels trapped in spite of her independence and freedom. She says she’s lost interest in life already and the only thing that keeps her going is opium. She says she doesn’t enjoy sex anymore.
Parisa says that she understands the irony of life; that all she really wants now is to give herself to a man, to love him and to be loved back. She says she wouldn’t mind being a slave and a servant to some guy if only she were loved and respected. She says she actually yearns for a man to brand her as his property; to want her, hold her and take care of her.
This is terrible. All I could think of while reading this was how awful the country must be.
Thank you for the political propaganda subversify!
This sounds much like the practice of having “Sugar Daddies” (or Mommas) in the U.S. more than it does prostitution in the traditional sense.
It’s interesting that here in the U.S. it’s okay to take any sort of payment as long as you are in a house and not walking the street and nominally with less than 10 fellows at a time.
Nobody treats the college grad teaching grade school as “damaged goods” when she payed for her education by having sex with a 60 year old man.
I think it’s past time to reasses what should be legal or not legal…
But then again there is that story about gov. controlled prostitution we have somewhere from Raven. That could be a scary possiblity too.
Thank you for your kind words Mitchell.
I think some people may be prejudiced and judgemental in labelling prostitutes as damaged but..
After knowing Parisa for years, I can say that there is definitely a ‘sick’ and ‘broken’ feeling to her. And this feeling seems to be independent of her appearance or her looks. I think there is a distinct morbid vibe around her that’s extremely sexy. It’s especially pronounced in the mood of her eyes.
There’s something about her, some ethereal quality that’s sexually exciting; she oozes lust and erotic desire. When you’re sitting with her just trying to have a conversation, all you can think about is sex. I’m sure this effect isn’t limited to just me; I believe her mere presence provokes lust and sexuality, whether you know she’s a prostitute or not.
I know she doesn’t consciously want or try to be this way, but even when she’s wearing the traditional “chador” (old school hijab) she’s still basically a sex symbol. I’d say hijab makes her even more sexy.
Her sister has this exact same quality; except it’s more intense with her.. I think because she’s a bit more mature-looking.
And this isn’t just my opinion alone but basically the opinion of everyone in town. I know that even women feel roused, provoked and hot/feverish around Parisa and Masomeh. I think it’s no surprise that they have no friends; it really is very difficult to just hang out with them.
Also, I’d say prostitution is unofficially legal around here. I don’t think Parisa has ever been in trouble with the law, and I’m sure she’s never really been discriminated against by the government because of her profession. And getting “busted” for going to a prostitute is just unheard of in these parts as far as I know.. Unless it’s a celebrity or a government official, no one really cares.
Been friends with many prostitutes. I have volunteered often to help them a few times — from the naivety of offering them a Christmas Party with good food and drink (until they went through the DTs trying to pound all the vodka and dismissed the food entirely…my naive mistake!) to offering tea bags for bleeding holes in their mouths where some cruel dentist pulled the wisdom tooth and sent her on her way, instead of treating the gaping, bleeding hole. And they have been friends with me — keeping an eye on my son and telling me when he was doing wrong things, so I could correct him in his teens.
I also lived in Germany, where prostitution was legal. So I have opinions on legalizing the profession. I’ve been labeled a hooker too for hanging around them. Could care less! I was stalked by one John, until I saw his truck parked at a palm reading house and called the number advertised to speak to his “wife” (the palm reader who divorced him immediately).
Not all of them feel apologetic for their lifestyle. Not all of them have a sense of shame. Many of them are lesbian, because they blame men for their life…and often with good reason. Most of the prostitutes I’ve known were anything but exciting. They were leathery-faced from walking in the sun all day for a date. Many had horrid complexions from drug addiction. One had an actual hole in the side of her waistline, from a tumorous growth she had removed. I’ve seen fat hookers, skinny hookers, old one, young ones…you name it.
And even still, I will never endorse legalizing prostitution. I have never met a prostitute that had a happy life; not even the legal ones. I think it is so deeply ingrained in a woman that selling her flesh for money is not okay that no matter how liberal the woman pretends to be about it, she cannot and will not accept it.
And I agree with Grainne that women dating sugar daddies is the same thing. Dating anyone for position is the same.
BTW, since Karen Santorum dated a man much more senior than her years, before she met her hubby Rick, and he was a known abortionist (which didn’t bother her at the time) and she is said to have obtained MANY expensive gifts from him…would we call her a prostitute? I simply call her a hypocrite.
Society is different here, Jen. Sex is highly taboo for one, and women rarely engage in extramarital sexual relations. Young girls usually don’t even know what sex is until their wedding night. And having multiple partners automatically makes a woman a “whore.”
Parisa isn’t much like western prostitutes; she’s more akin to the average European girl IMO.
do you think legalizing prostitution there would change those dynamics? As you said, she already has a negative opinion of her life’s choice. That’s what I saw in many European hookers when I lived there too. They might not have said it, but their behavior told a great deal.
Personally, i think demanding a service than despising the provider is hypocrisy, no matter what the country, the customs or the circumstances. I know there are women who see prostitution as an easy way to gain money and prestige. There are women who use their sex to climb the social ladder, to advance their careers, butterflies around prominent men, women who take on lovers or husbands with no emotional attachment, solely with an eye on their economic advantage. They don’t call themselves prostitutes, but as Grainne pointed out, they are. The biggest difference between them and a street prostitute is that the men they choose for imparting their sexual favors care enough about them to make sure they are comfortable.
Most street prostitutes do it for money, do it for drugs, but rarely simply because they love the trade. They know their career success is time limited. They know that the chances of finding a happy life once the wrinkles set in and their boobs and teeth fall simultaneously are slim. Why should they care, however, if society doesn’t care?
Men want sensuous women. They want to covet them, play with them, have sex with them, but without any desire for the woman’s well-being, their lust is meaningless. They’ve objectified the woman; turned her into a commodity; without any regards for her physical health, her emotional state or her basic personality. The shame isn’t hers, it’s theirs. Little boys denying their basic instincts, taking no responsibility for the woman they’ve trapped into an act she has no real interest in, flattering themselves that they are manly because they were able to toss her aside afterwards as used goods. It’s not manly. It’s cowardice. If prostitution is so terrible, the prostitute can’t even be considered a human being with rights, passions, desires and needs of her own… if sex outside of marriage is so taboo, than these lusty men would do better just finding themselves a blow-up doll instead of exploiting women.
karlsie, I appreciate your view and I agree with it 100%. But I will put forth another view for your consideration.
Let’s say some guy meets Parisa, and he’s instantly affected by her intense sexual vibe. He then wants to have sex with her, because lets face it.. this is his instinct. And it just so happens that in this particular sexually oppressive environment no woman will have sex with him unless he marries her.
But it just so happens that Parisa is perfectly willing to have sex with him. She’s absolutely fine with letting him do anything to her; she just wants money in return.
So, here’s ‘guy’ sitting with Parisa, trying to hide his hard-on, when her smirk tells him that she knows exactly what’s going on. At this point he has basically lost the privilege of ‘choice.’ He’s been lured into a trap. Parisa doesn’t love him, she probably doesn’t even like him — she just wants his money and is manipulating his instinctual biological imperatives to get his money. And she does this with outright sorcery if you ask me. (her sexual vibe is just insane; you have to experience it to know what i mean)
Then our hero finally succumbs to temptation and proceeds to “pretend to procreate” with Parisa for ~2 minutes. When he’s done, he feels like crap. He looks at the whore next to him, putting on her bra and panties nonchalantly. He feels the deepest hate and disgust for this vile woman at that moment. But he will soon forget this feeling and all that will remain is again his biological imperatives.
I’d say Parisa is nothing short of a witch. She bears the mark of Aphrodite; she’s a living symbol of lust that no man can refuse.
Poor prostitute? or poor helpless john?
Ph, i think a lot of my passion oriented from the second illustration you put up at the forum. I felt absolutely bitter about it. I know that beautiful, intelligent women can be very seductive. It’s precisely because they are intelligent as well as beautiful that they are so aware of what it takes to excite a man; which isn’t really very much if you ask me. In my circle of girl friends, we make a lot of jokes about men who think with their dicks. I think Anchorage must be the gold digger capital of the world. We have everything from the cream of wheat Ohio farm girl to the savvy Berkeley chick hanging around every corner hoping to snag an oil man. She wouldn’t have a fisherman, a construction worker or a civics teacher unless he had 100k squirreled away in the bank and a nice boat for floating up and down the coastline. Just as well. We don’t want our local men to have broken hearts; just to toe the line.
Is that unreasonable? In our minds, you get what you pay for. You go to a skilled prostitute who has no interest in you physically, what more can you expect? I think the disgust and hate is misdirected. The man is disgusted and hates himself for being so weak.
This isn’t a true criticism; just an observation about human nature. Our passions can be very hard to control, but if they make us look foolish, it’s better to learn a little self discipline. I suppose the question is, if the society was less sexually suppressed, would this type of problem be alleviated? Probably not. There are always going to be women who are sirens and men that scramble to her door for a moment of pleasure. There are always going to be women who value their bodies and do not want meaningless sex. There are always going to be women who, having discovered the sex was meaningless to their partner, will become bitter. What it might do is allow a few men to put their lust back in their pockets and quit worrying about what the prostitutes are doing. What it might do is alleviate the impression that women are objects without feelings, needs and dreams of her own.
I don’t see what you’re getting at ph – the fellow in your scenario got what he payed for (i.e. a sexual encounter with a woman with no emotional attachment to him – which are, I readily confess, the only type of encourters people like me desire [romance is for chumps if you ask me]) and if he’s not satisfied with the service provided he can always take it elsewhere: there’s more than one way to get your rocks off, you know.
To find the woman to be a “witch” for fulfilling a serivce you request because she’s non-chalant about it after the fact is ludicrous – seriously, what else do you expect from a sex worker (after all, sex is just a means to pay the bills for them)? Only people with incredibly fragile psyches would even *think* about taking offense to such a thing: the type of man so insecure in his own sexuality that he needs every chick he bangs to experience extreme levels of passion at the moment of climax and laude his sexual prowess afterward – i.e. people who have no business having sex in the first place…
Hey Az! missed you buddy welcome back.
It’s really different here than it is in the west. The guy in the scenario has absolutely no possibility of ever having sex with anyone other than his wife, or a prostitute. Which, if he isn’t married, leaves just the prostitute. I understand that this is purely a matter of self-control, but since we seem to lack it as a species, all we’re left with is our biological imperatives.
I think what’s clear is that sex is a man’s weakness; and prostitution is the profession of manipulating this weakness.
And karlsie, the feeling of disgust is most certainly aimed at one’s own weakness and stupidity. No doubt. But I think it’s also directed at the person who shamelessly manipulates weakness and stupidity.
And Az, I think you took my words a little out of context bro. I think a woman who can give you a hardon just by looking at you qualifies as a witch.
Then she’s also got this incredibly soothing innocent baby talk voice that’s absolutely hypnotising. She could put you to sleep in 2 seconds. You actually feel the back of your head getting pleasantly warm and your muscles becoming relaxed. You doze off before you even realize it.
All these theories about the effects of a woman’s seduction and the man who falls for it makes me laugh. Is this man a complete idiot? Is he a man who is so naive that he doesn’t understand what prostitution is about? Or are we making excuses for a man’s sexual drive and lack of discipline, once again?
It’s the same ignorance behind a cheating husband’s claim that he couldn’t help boinking five other women, because HE’S A SEX ADDICT. I give men more credit than to assume they are complete idiots with no self control.
Jennifer, pretty much everything I’ve stated here has been fact. I’ve offered no theories, just perceptions. The guy in the scenario is a real person and the scenario happened to him just as I related it.
The man isn’t a “complete idiot” and he isn’t “naive” about prostitution either, at least not the way you mean it. He’s a young man who lives in a rural area and has never seen a woman’s hair up close, let alone any other female parts.
This isn’t about justifying anything or making excuses. It’s about understanding a different society and culture. And as long as you think in terms of western mentality, the point will keep bypassing you no matter how many examples I give.
@ ph,
1. I hear you – the person in your scenario only has two options (wife or prostitute) and if he doesn’t like the experience with one protitute he can always find another: the thing about patriarchal cultures (where dillemas like this are most common) is that there are usually plenty of brothels around – and thus plenty of opportunity to find a girl that will cater to his personal tastes.
2. I know that sex is a weakness for certain men (particularly males who are insecure in themselves), but for others it’s just a recreation that’s occationally indulged and don’t obsess over it(myself included). As one of the latter, I have little pity on the former…
3. If any woman that looks at you and gives you a boner counts as a “witch,” every hot Asian coed I ever saw laid eyes on in college must be a secret master of the dark arts or something…
LOL maybe you just have a thing for asian coeds Az.
But listen, I’m really not arguing for any generalization here. I’m sorry if I came off that way. I’m basically here gossipping about a friend of mine.
I don’t judge her. But I don’t see her as a victim either. IMHO this particular prostitute, ie. Parisa, is a hunter and a bully and she is in no way oppressed. She uses her beauty and her sex appeal to manipulate a sex-starved male population, in her particular part of the world. And her biggest problem is that she can’t find love. I don’t mean to say that all these are the general traits of prostitutes; just this one particular girl.
I don’t know what we’re arguing about.
I really don’t care whether prostitution is legalized or not. Frankly, I have absolutely no power over the matter at all.
I’m much more interested in knowing what causes prostitution. I mean, in our rural areas women won’t have sex with anyone but their husband (and no brothels here Az) so prostitution thrives. But in the west these days women are much more sexual than men IMHO. So.. prostitution shouldn’t even exist, and yet it does.
I don’t know. I just think prostitution is stupid.. I think the fact that it exists shows that we are ill somehow as a species.
That’s a loaded comment. There are many reasons why men want hookers. (And gigolos, a growing trend) Troubled marriages, loneliness, emotional emptiness, control, lust, repressed homosexuality, etc.
The reason prostitution happens is because of assets and trading. Prostitutes have product and thus there is a supply and demand. Perhaps prostitution and free sex in general are all malfunctions of love and marriage. Who knows?
Personally I would feel ridiculous, like a chump, if I were to ever give cash to some girl so she’d let me fuck her. It’s an absurd and outrageous proposition, really.
Personally I would much (much!!) much rather entice a girl to give herself to me freely. It’s an altogether different feeling I think. But I’m not interested in sex; I don’t feel the “need” to fuck women.
I really don’t judge, so don’t take me wrong, but I feel there is something seriously wrong with men who need to fuck women on a regular basis to feel good. I feel good and fucking no one is going to make me feel any better.
I think men like to feel superior and when a woman gives herself up to a man she is basically submitting to his will. There is no way around this, men are fucking women and not the other way around.
I think people who ‘need’ other people to submit to them might be a little crazy. But people who pay other people to pretend to submit to them so they can feel powerful is just out of this world absurd IMHO.
And what’s more is there are a lot of women who feel they need to get fucked to feel good. I’m not judging, just stating what I’ve perceived. And what I’ve perceived is that plenty of women feel like they need a man’s semen inside them to feel whole.
I think it’s gross.
I just have one more piece of absurdity to top this all off.
I empathize with women. I think for me personally, as a person, to submit to a man and let him to whatever he wants with my body — and inject his seed inside me — is just about the worst experience I can think of. I would fight to the bitter end before I let someone dominate me in this way.
However, it is strange I suppose that I feel fine with letting a woman do whatever she wants to me..
asiaticmonkey,
You say,
“The man isn’t a “complete idiot” and he isn’t “naive” about prostitution either, at least not the way you mean it. He’s a young man who lives in a rural area and has never seen a woman’s hair up close, let alone any other female parts.”
Sex and desire are not “western” behaviors and it has nothing to do with culture or western mentality. If that were the case, the Sumerians wouldn’t have had prostitution; but they did. Even in the Hanging Gardens of Babylonia and during the days of King Hammurabi, men have had the ability to control their libido…say, with a neighbor’s wife, or a sister. If a man’s sexual drive was as overwhelming as you like to believe, they would not be able to control this drive with any woman. The “hair and feminine anatomy” would draw him to arousal that he had to act upon, no matter what. But, King Hammurabi’s Laws indicate that this was not the case.
You are making men look ridiculously stupid based on culture, in my opinion. Human beings…all of us have the ability to choose what we act on, even when enticed. I’m not buying your argument. Surely, the man from the rural area has seen his cousin’s wife, his sister, his best friend’s wife and not acted on his sexual impulses. Therefore, he knows what he’s acting on and his anger over his sexual acts is misplaced. It’s this type of sexist attitude that creates judgment against the prostitute, instead of the man who pays for her…and frankly, I feel that is wrong, since most hookers turn to prostitution after being molested as children.
Jennifer, you have obviously never been to an Islamic country.
I’ll make this clear. Men in rural areas here never see their mother, sister or any other woman without hijab. Boys and girls are completely separated; no boy has a “best friend” that is a girl.
The only time boys and girls come into direct contact is when they are married.
Do you understand?
I’m familiar with this culture phd – and if you ask me, this kind of separation tends to create an atmosphere of sexual repression that leads to all manner of unusual behaviors (particularly such notions as rape as punishment for “impurity” and “honor killings” [the concept of “honor” espoused here being most foreign to any concept of honor I’ve encountered in person]).
It is my opinion that this mode of living is not healthy, but then again if these people desire to continually subject themselves to the dictates of ultra-religious rules and traditions that have likely lost whatever context they originally possessed who am I to tell them different? If nothing else, such cultures might serve as an example to sovereign individuals of how *not* to live one’s life…
And why you would compare ancient Sumer (circa 3000BC) with Islamic nations of the 21st century is just beyond me.
Are you trying to imply that the Islamic world is as primitive as the earliest known civilization on earth? Really?
Listen, the fact is simple. Most women here will not so much as show their hair to anyone but their husband. Most men will live to be 90 and the only woman they’ll ever see naked is their wife.
In such an environment, the prostitute is an anomaly because if she didn’t exist no one would be missing out on anything. Boys would marry their wives and stay faithful til the end because there is no one for them to cheat with.
Of course the western mentality states that women should be free to get fucked by as many men as possible and this is what they call equality. By the western standard women in mslim nations are slaves. And by the muslim standard women in the west are whores. Who is right? Is there even such a thing as right?
Az, if I were to rape a rural woman, her family would hunt me down and hack me to bits; they’d cut off my testicles and feed it to me raw.
Rape is much more common in cities here than it is in the small towns.
However, homosexuality is rampant in these villages. Many girls and boys will experiment heavily with the same sex before they get married.
@ phd,
“Az, if I were to rape a rural woman, her family would hunt me down and hack me to bits; they’d cut off my testicles and feed it to me raw.”
I know that if you were to do so that would be the case, but I know for a fact that in many Third World nations (including Pakistan and Iran) if a woman steps out of line she may face being raped by male members of her family as punishment – I don’t know just how common the practice is (as stats are hard to attain from those regions due to the fact that these incidents are seldom reported at all) but I’ve heard stories on my old college campus from some of the Arab transfer students (some even came to the West to escape their families for fear of punative rape or even the possiblity of being a victim of “honor killing”).
For the record, I’m not taring all people from the region with the same brush (as that would be an unfair generalization) but when this sort of thing is considered scocially acceptable on any level (even as one who holds all “morality” relative this behavior strikes me as unhealthy and disturbing) one has to ask just what the cultural roots of these behavious are.
I’ve never heard of such a thing actually happening out here.. Women getting raped by their own family??? Are you serious?
Could you cite a source for this Az? It’s very troubling..
I couldn’t find an example from the Middle East right away (I have to go in a few minutes and can’t spare the time right now…), but Wikipedia does have examples of this taking place in South Africa (see here… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corrective_rape ).
I don’t doubt you could cite many examples Az.
What I was referring to was the statement that it is socially acceptable behavior to rape female members of one’s family to keep them in line. Please cite a source referring to a place where this is so.
A little while back I read about this afghan man and his wife who together killed the man’s three daughters and his first wife in eastern canada. When they were arrested and questioned they claimed that their daughters were having sex and it was a matter of honor for them, as if this would somehow justify what they did in the canadian authorities’ eyes. The canadian media turned it into a story of how afghan culture encourages honor killings.
The truth is if a man and woman do this in Iran, they will be executed by the law. Iran has no qualms about executing these kinds of people and does so quite frequently.
If however a couple does this in Afghanistan, the tribal leaders will ensure their arrest and arrange their execution themselves.
There is no honor in what this afghan couple in canada did. The people in Iran and Afghanistan aren’t so backwards as to have such a shameful and disgusting concept of honor.
Since this is still here I guess I’ll add that she got married a couple months ago, to a rich young man from a small town, far enough from her home, where no one knew her.
I’m betting they’re divorced within a year, and she walks off with everything he’s got.
Poor bastard, had absolutely no idea what he was getting himself into.. I heard that he was so infatuated that he simply refused to listen to anyone who spoke ill of her. I suppose he just thought they were all jealous cause he found such a perfect, hot wife.