Note: This piece was submitted to Subversify by The Late Mitchell Warren. However, Warren is still battling mental illness. In respect for our readers, all dog references have been removed. This story has been edited from its original form.

On the heels of the 2011 Oscar nominations (for the year 2010), the Academy proves something we suspected all along butweren’tready to accept—that the Academy is not as whorish as everyone thinks they are. In the past, the distinguished academy has certainly been caught with their skirts down and their legs spread, having nominated District 9, Avatar and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire India.

It’s quite possible that in light of the disastrous Golden Globe Awards earlier in the month (in which a pudgy little British man told the truth about some of Hollywood’s top earning celebrity sluts and dope fiends), the Academy decided to move away from this year’s gaudier, hammier and flamingly gay movies and honor some classier competition–namely, British competition.

Leading the nominations this year is The King’s Speech, an uncompromisingly British film which stars British actors and promotes a decidedly British agenda. (It’s no secret this movie was made for British people by British people) The King’s Speech received 12 nominations, out-voting the British-directed but American-marketed film Inception, as well as themulti-milliondollar Face Book commercial, The Social Network.

The King’s Speech did manage to top The Social Network in total nominations, which could signify a refreshing new outlook on life: that it’s not all always about the money, but about the prestige. The King of England will always have more prestige than a twenty-year old billionaire who repeatedly clicks “refresh” to see if his old crush added him as a friend.

In the 1980s and 1990s, of course, we old fogies remember when twenty-year old no names had to earn their respect in Hollywood and pay their dues before expecting any awards. It is nice to know that there’s a still a slight incline, if not an uphill battle, for the likes of Zuckerberg, Eisenbergand all the other “bergs” (cough, Jews) who are in (cough, run) Hollywood.

Don’t underestimate the power of emotionally manipulative films. Winter’s Bone should not be too much of a surprise (scoring award nominations for Supporting Actor, Lead Actress and Best Picture) considering it was one of the few films this year with a linear plot, human dialogue (no mention of code or bandwidth), people (not toys) interacting face-to-face, and of course, dead animals (in the tradition of Apocalypse Now).

Since the Academy now nominates 10 movies instead of 5, there really is no such thing as a true “snub.” True, Christopher Nolan wasn’t nominated for Best Director, but that could well be punishment for Nolan’s hyperactive approach to filmmaking. Inception, Shutter Island, The Prestige, The Dark Knight—these are all movies that are too hyped up on sugar to slow down to a pace where the Academy can follow. Perhaps if Nolan were to make a film with actual people doing actual things (not involving dreams, delusions or batarangs) he would win the industry’s respect. But the question is if Nolan is capable of slowing down. He tried that once, in a film called Insomnia, and everyone off camera and on camera seemed drowsy and sluggish by the third act.

The rest of the 2010 nominations were predictable, and included the Coen’s True Grit, Danny Boyle’s 127 Hours (also called Survivor: Utah) and Pixar’s Toy Story 3, which tugged at the heartstrings of cynical Gen X grown ups who trashed their toys for a Nintendo 20 years ago. The two best nominations of 2010 welcomed two new directors to the elite— Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan) and David O’Russell (The Fighter)—two directors that share Nolan’s ADHD approach to film making, but who have also learned how to tack on emotionally tugging end scenes that make the all-important point super-clear for even the most wasted Academy member drunk.

The best snub of the day was overlooking Julianne Moore’s for The Kids Are All Right. Apparently Julianne Moore didn’t quite understand her role as a lesbian mom, and went against director Lisa Cholodenko’s advice and played her lesbian momrole as a man-crazy trollop. Moore can’t be blamed for this oversight, since this formula has worked for practically all of her other movie roles. However, it did compromise the climactic moment of the film in which she proclaimed “I’m gay!” to the man she just screwed. Academy members were slightly confused.

The worst nomination of the day went to Iron Man 2 for visual effects. What? No love for Edgar Wright, the ADHD director with the hand grenade balls, the one that could give even Christopher Nolan a run for his money in terms of dizzying effects? No, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World was snubbed for Robert Downey Jr.’s WWE-sponsored concert film. The reason for this egregious oversight is obvious: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World showed us the affect commerce, video games and comic books have on an impressionable young mind. Iron Man 2 just gave us the commerce, video games and comic books without the afterthought.

In the end, the Oscar nominations for 2010 reinforced some general perceptions about Hollywood that Subversify has suspected for quite some time. Namely, that we Americans long for British people to insult us, transcend us and love us, despite our own rebellious backtalk. The King’s Speech’s success comes no less than a month after Brit Ricky Gervais trashed Hollywood’s finest and less than a year after Simon Cowell exited American Idol.

Now that Hollywood has chosen British elitism over American Internet entrepreneurship, on Oscar night, expect The King’s Speech to just barely triumph over The Social Network—a film so ordinary that even David Fincher wondered what all the hoopla was about.

Fincher Said: “Social Network is not earth-shattering…I didn’t really agree with the critics’ praise…I didn’t think we were ripping the lid off anything.”

Please, everybody keep the secret going. Nobody tell this to Aaron Sorkin, who thinks he’s finally writing some deep stuff. Long live the British people (and please save us from our crumbling economy)!

12 thoughts on “Academy Award Nominations for 2010”

  1. Although England might save us from the Post Traumatic Stress of listening to Hollywood’s death rattle, i doubt it will do much to save our economy unless it takes a sudden interest in people who will swallow anything. It’s the one thing America has in abundance.

    Great review, by the way. A pity, but i can’t think of one movie that really stood out for me this year. The best entertainment came from the HBO mini-series; Dexter, and now the up and coming Spartacus.

  2. I was glad to see Winter’s Bone recieve nods. I doubt it will win anything however. The film acadamy always has a hard-on for British movies with Colin Firth in them.

    Sorry to relate that the new season of Spartacus sucks ass thus far. But since the first season started off slow maybe it will improve. For now it serves as an excellent drinking game. One drink for blood, a good chug for sex and shotgun for un-necessary slo-mo violence.

  3. No surprises here really other than Christopher Nolan getting snubbed in the Best Director category. I thought The Social Network was severely overrated and got most of its attention due to the subject matter rather than the movie as a whole. I’m a big David Fincher fan and he’s never let me down. Good movie but it didn’t make my Top Ten. I thought Howl was by far the best movie of the year with its combination of animation, acting (James Franco as Allen Ginsberg), and cinematography. You can check out my list on my artist’s blog at

  4. Allright! Yet another gratuitous reference to Jesse Eisenberg being Jewish! Score!

    Yes, I know it’s all a joke, ho ho.

    What bothers me is not the fact that Eisenberg’s Jewishness is referenced (or, rather, humored, ho ho!). What bothers me is the fact that if it was, for example, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, or Anton Yelchin, or Logan Lerman (all Jews in Eisenberg’s age group) who was nominated instead, that comment wouldn’t be there. WHat’s my evidence? Well, Natalie Portman was nominated, and she was born in Jerusalem, for chrissakes, and no one mentions that she’s Jewish. A similar mention of James Franco’s half-Jewishness is a pipe dream.

    No, it’s all Jesse Eisenberg=Jewish all the time. Cuz he’s really nerdy and he has “Berg” in his name (like half the population of Sweden), so, like, of course “we” have to. We’re only human after all. Ho ho!

  5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt will never be nominated for anything.

    I’m hoping that Zuckerberg and Eisenberg’s Jewishness is the reason for The Social Network’s inexplicable success. Otherwise, I can’t imagine why such a mediocre film is getting all this attention. Maybe the Academy just loves Face Book that much? I also hope the movie about Twitter wins next year…course, Jack Dorsey is just a plain old white guy so that probably won’t happen.

  6. Meh, I think Gordon-Levitt will be nominated within the next few years. Him and Gosling are going to be getting these can’t win-type nominations a lot, I suspect.

  7. The minute Joseph Gordon-Levitt starts acting, and stops playing his boring, 3rd Rock From the Sun character Tommy Solomon, I’d agree with you. Thus far all I’ve seen is Tommy Solomon with amnesia, Tommy Solomon getting dumped, Tommy Solomon going to the army, Tommy Solomon stuck in a dream world. I just don’t see the versatility everyone is talking about. Of course, that never stopped Dicaprio’s career…

  8. someone mentioned “Howl” earlier and the only thing I have to say is that Ginsberg lived in the same lower east side tenement building we lived in during the 60s. He USED to visit (our apartment was always full of activists and artistic types), but my mother banned him for going naked.

    they all loved her rice and beans and especially her “Puerto Rican fried rice” (really the rice that got stuck to the bottom of the pot).

    Why would anyone like a film with low-life characters as social network sports, is beyond me. Yeah, that facebook guy gets more poosie NOW, but back in the day, he used to WISH he was me. and I didn’t, nor do I now have, any money (or code).

    Inception could’ve been better, IMO. That’s what I kept thinking as I watched it. I loved The Fighter because I loved the characters and I would eat a mile of Amy Adams’ shit just to kiss her shapely ass (no mater how hard she tries, the bootie sticks out). Ms. Leo tore the shit out of her role as the mother. Great little turn there. Loved the way the family dysfunction was presented. I KNOW characters like that.

    I’m a snob and have only contempt for Americans who moon over a British accent. FUCK the King, don’t want the speech! LOL

    Nice review. BTW, I’m from New Fuckin York and we like to say “fuck” A LOT (see: Pacino)

  9. LOL good points, Eddie. The Social Network is pretty much about a nerdy Jewish kid finally getting laid. Should have been retooled into Revenge of the Nerds 2010

    Amy Adams is all right…kind of white bread if you ask me.

  10. For future reference:
    Actors of fully Jewish background: -Logan Lerman, Natalie Portman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mila Kunis, Bar Refaeli, James Wolk, Julian Morris, Esti Ginzburg, Kat Dennings, Erin Heatherton, Odeya Rush, Anton Yelchin, Paul Rudd, Scott Mechlowicz, Lizzy Caplan, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Gal Gadot, Robert Kazinsky, Melanie Laurent, Marla Sokoloff, Shiri Appleby, Justin Bartha, Adam Brody, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Gabriel Macht, Halston Sage, Seth Gabel, Alden Ehrenreich.

    Actors with Jewish mothers and non-Jewish fathers -Jake Gyllenhaal, Dave Franco, Scarlett Johansson, Daniel Radcliffe, Alison Brie, Eva Green, Emmy Rossum, Jennifer Connelly, Eric Dane, Jeremy Jordan, Joel Kinnaman.

    Actors with Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers, who themselves were either raised as Jews and/or identify as Jews: -Andrew Garfield, Ezra Miller, Gwyneth Paltrow, Alexa Davalos, Nat Wolff, James Maslow, Josh Bowman, Ben Foster, Nikki Reed, Zac Efron, Jonathan Keltz.

    Actors with one Jewish-born parent and one parent who converted to Judaism -Dianna Agron, Sara Paxton (whose father converted, not her mother), Alicia Silverstone, Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.