Warning: The views of Soccer Mom do not reflect the views of Subversify Magazine or its staff.

Please note that the submitted story has been slightly edited and some links have been added.

“Why I Removed the Craigslist Whores”

By Soccer Mom

Hello, all you “subversives.” I am Soccer Mom, just an everyday housewife slash real estate agent slash fulltime mom. I feel that we, the collective of moms responsible for removing the filth on Craigslist this past year owe you an explanation.

Now don’t get all bent out of shape. There is still pornography available on the Internet for all your pedophiliac and misogynistic needs. Enjoy it while you can before the cops invade your house and you find yourself in jail with the kind of “anal destruction” you DON’T like.

But I want you to understand why prostitution on Craigslist is un-cool. Prostitution infringes upon the rights of women and exploits human beings. Pornography and prostitution have one thing in common: they exploit the female body, something that is sacred and holy. Whereas pornography is a rehearsal for the rape that you plan to commit, prostitution is rape actualized.

I will admit that I am a creationist and believe in God. And yes, I am opposed to prostitution from a Christian perspective. I personally feel that the naked female body is embarrassing. The bible has always encouraged monogamous sex. Jesus Christ did not look at women with lust in his heart. God created sex to be enjoyed as an act of love and unselfish pleasure between a husband and wife.

What I truly hate about this modern world is how badly sex has degenerated for smart and single women. I like to think back to a time of innocence like in the 1950s, or my personal favorite, the 1800s Victorian era. This was a pure existence, without all of the oral sex, masturbation and dirty rubbing that the 1960s Kinsey generation brought us.

When did sex stop becoming about love and all about self-gratification? I am proud to say that I am not one of those parents who taught my children “how to have sex.” My children grew up innocent in action and thought. By the time I had my fourth “surprise!” child, my other children were grown up and proudly abstaining from intercourse before marriage.

So yes, I could focus on how common attitudes about sex are not godly or natural, but I won’t go there. I could focus on how witches introduced sex to Western civilization and how large phallic symbols are derivative of Celtic sex practices, but I won’t touch that.

Instead, let’s focus on the real issue: the economy of prostitution. Prostitution is morally wrong because it treats sex as a commodity or a bartering act. Republican soccer moms like me have a big problem with the exploitation of human beings. My husband, who employs dozens of subcontractors, and is always looking for un-skilled laborers. Why can’t these girls go out and get a regular job?

Men that pay women for their sex are taking advantage of a woman’s gullibility, and that has no place in legitimate business. I strongly believe that if you are old enough to be having sex you should suffer for it. The compulsion to have loose and irresponsible sex is a sickness and should not be exploited for material gain. An addiction is a serious problem and should never be commercialized at someone else’s expense.

I know what you’re thinking, you cackling pen of left-wingers out there. Why should a man pay for sex when he can have sex with easy Craigslist women for free? Women think differently than men. When a woman decides that she wants to have sex, it’s usually for love, commitment and for a hope of better things to come. The point is, you can’t buy a woman’s affection. Money doesn’t please a woman. You have to put in some capital. You have to put in the effort. You have to grow up. You earn sex with your honest intentions. Instead of paying for sex, why not instead buy your girl a nice gift, take her to a fancy restaurant and take her to a romantic movie?

When you allow a man to have sex in exchange for money you debase the reputation of sophisticated American men and women everywhere. The bottom line, and I know mothers out there will back me up on this, is that when we allow prostitution to happen on Craigslist or on the street, we take our own children by the hand and sell them into human trafficking.

By ridding Craigslist of prostitution, we protect our children from all the sex addicts, child molesters and sicko rapists out there who would defile their virginal 18-year-old temples. Called me old fashioned, but I would much rather my daughter wait until a respectable wedding day so she can cherish her innocence.

My daughter actually had the nerve to argue with me about the Craiglist whores controversy. She asked me, doesn’t legalizing prostitution protect the whores from pimp beatings, human trafficking and the spread of STDs? My answer to her was, do these criminals really NEED protection in the first place? Hmm, let me think.

What would Jesus do if he ever met a Craigslist hooker? Would Jesus waste his time talking to such a gross sinner in the first place?

As for all those other Craigslist whores on “Casual Encounters”, I believe they do reap the consequences of their actions. Parents, as a mother I exhort you to keep watch over your kids before it’s too late and they end up on the Craigslist “free sex” webpage. Get involved in their lives. Make them get a job. Maybe enroll them in the legitimate theater. Buy them a video camera and let them have fun. If worse comes to worse, take your son or daughter to a psychologist. Keep your children occupied so that they don’t get bored of life and start looking for sexual escapades. Sex and children and all that good stuff comes later in life when a married couple is settled and content.

I think my ultimate beef with prostitution is that it’s anti-feminist. I am, above all things, a feminist. Prostitution is against women because it idolizes female nudity, capitalizes on a woman’s choice, and distracts women from getting the family life they all really want.

Prostitution is a crime against society, an injustice against true feminism and a corruption to our children, who are struggling to learn what marriage really is. Let’s keep our children innocent and learning about things that really matter in this world, like financial planning, college, career, economy and everything else that makes this nation of ours so great.

Why We Did It

Why did we do it? Why did we spend countless hours screening the newest ads and flagging posts that seemed to be soliciting sex? Because it worked! Craigslist responded to our peer pressure campaign to close down both the “erotic services” and “adult services” sections of their site after a public outcry by concerned attorneys general and everyday moms like me.

Contrary to popular belief, we the moms of the United States don’t have an agenda in all of this. We could care less about how much money Craigslist makes, or how much free person-to-person websites cost the government. Instead, we simply want to see Craigslist used for more wholesome purposes. I used to love Craigslist before all of the ugliness occurred.

I remember buying my son’s first puppy from the community pets section. The little fellow was so cute! We both marveled at how darling “Millie” was, the way its little face would bounce up and down when it coughed and wheezed. The way its cute little hind legs would close together and it would stumble across the room. My son loved that puppy!

Millie was a very nervous dog when it first came to our home. We could tell he wasn’t very socialized, and probably was the runt of his previous family. He also had a grouchy little temper! He would nibble at my hand whenever he wanted something. It didn’t hurt of course, because it was such a tiny and harmless little thing.

What a darling puppy Millie was! My children and I found Millie on Craigslist for a bargain. Unlike the animal pound, which wanted $300 dollars for their dogs, we found Millie on Craigslist for free. There was a $250 re-homing fee attached, but it just covered basic supplies like vet bills, dog food, shots and some other expenses. Besides, Millie was a purebred dog. Imagine the odds of finding a purebred dog for that price. You see? Craigslist is not all about the whores.

I still remember those fond times I spent with my children taking care of our puppy Millie. The dog seemed sad to be away from home at first but eventually warmed up to us and was soon nibbling at all of our fingers! Millie later got sick and we re-housed him to a friendly neighbor of ours who was an even bigger animal lover than we were. He told us that he collected cats, dogs and snakes. Imagine the menagerie going on at his house!

These are truly the memories of a lifetime. Call me crazy but when I think of no-strings-attached fun and casual good times, I think of my family. I think of our puppy Millie and the good times he gave the children. I think of old fashioned tea parties I have with my friends. I think of the power of faith and prayer…a force so strong it can touch several people at once.

I guess deep down I believe that all Americans have a proper place in our society. I want my children to grow up in a world free of exploitation. I want them to be able to buy a bucket of KFC chicken and enjoy every last bite without worrying that anyone is going to get hurt. I want to be able to take my future son-in-law out to a steakhouse and talk about real issues like how to help the environment.

I’ve always been a meat and potatoes, eggs and bacon type of girl, so I can’t debate much about modern liberal politics. But I’d like to think I know a thing or two about profiting from the exploitation of other living creatures. I’d like to think I know a thing or two about human morality.

We’re America, people. We stand for integrity. We’re not Amsterdam yet so I proudly say “NO SAY TO DRUGS” just as Jesus did in Rom. 12:1 which clearly states that drugs are a defilement to the flesh. And yes, we also blew down proposition 19 and rightfully so. Real Americans say no to drugs and yes to the future of our children.

Let’s remember people, we are a Christian nation and have stronger moral conviction than the whores of Thailand, the dog-eating gooks of Japan and the forced abortions of China. We PAY for our abortions. Well, I should clarify we pay…as in we pay through blood, sweat and tears.

Jesse Jackson once said “I had a dream.” I have a dream too. I dream of a day when we will have a real feminist president who doesn’t waste time meddling in global issues but instead focuses on the family.

I dream of a day where no little ones will be exploited just so some pervert can put something nasty in his mouth.

You Craigslist sickos think you can “save people” by legalizing prostitution? Are you left-wing bastards that sick? Yeah, okay for the sake of argument let’s say we legalize prostitution. Yeah, let’s do it. It’s about time we started profiting from the oldest profession in the book. Why I can see it now…

We can force these single mom whores to have babies. Make them do something useful for a change. Take away their Fred Flintstone Mifepristone chewables and force them to give birth. Constantly. It’s about time these whores learned what sex really feels like! Three babies a year, triple c-sections and breast implants with built in catheters for pumping out milk until your nipples bleed! Seriously, why don’t you liberated sluts make your bodies useful for a change and started pushing out a few babies with all that unprotected sex you’re having???

That ought to teach those Craigslist whores to keep their legs together! Why not, take six months off work, collect welfare, and start having a few preemies. Or better yet keep working. You know some sick pedophile men out there like doing it with a pregnant chick. We could hook you up to a milking machine, a semen dispenser, and a baby sucking device and really put you to work! Hey, I love coming up with crazy liberal ideas on how to fix the economy!

So in closing, why did we get rid of the Craigslist whores? I think it’s fairly obvious why to anyone with half a brain. We are what we are. And anyone who doesn’t see what we moms see, is just oblivious to what’s happening in the world today.

51 thoughts on “Why I Removed the Craigslist Whores”

  1. You are indeed right when you say “We are what we are”. It is nice to hear such racial, gender and sexual intolerance is alive and well – and I did not realize that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s speech writer has had a sex change to fit with their new found religious rebirth. Let’s take things one at a time shall we?

    Foremost, I send my sympathies to you; being ashamed of one’s body image is always a sad mental state, one that I despise seeing developed in anyone. The poor body self-image shuts off a person so much from understanding and empathizing with others, as well exemplified here, as the concentration is directing that anger outwardly to those who are not similarly underdeveloped. The other concern would be if one is embarrassed about their own body, how much that person can really know how they are doing physically. Whoever made you ashamed of who you are and forced you to become so bitter should be punished. This extends to holding a view that prostitutes don’t have rights, or the protection. It fits with the rationalization that the Slavic and Jewish peoples deserved the gas chambers in World War II.

    The article talks of proper places, of being able to have deep conversations on the environment over a bucket of KFC (ever been to a chicken production plant, thanks for the total lack of not understanding environmental issues) yet then this comes up: “We can force these single mom whores to have babies. Make them do something useful for a change. Take away their Fred Flintstone Mifepristone chewables and force them to give birth. Constantly. It’s about time these whores learned what sex really feels like! Three babies a year, triple c-sections and breast implants with built in catheters for pumping out milk until your nipples bleed! Seriously, why don’t you liberated sluts make your bodies useful for a change and started pushing out a few babies with all that unprotected sex you’re having??? “ Should prostitutes also work the cotton fields until they are ready to pop?

    I have no clue where the belief that there was some sort of no naughty in the 1800’s, perhaps the rose-hued glasses have blurred out the passages of time that quite richly illustrate that in terms of sexuality. I can only think that it must be 21st century re-writing of history that has inserted the imprisonment of Oscar Wilde for sodomy, the poems of Lord Byron on his multiple extra-marital affairs, the wondrous painted lines of Amedeo Nodigiliani, Degas, or Ruebans. It also does not answer the enigma of how Pope Leo VII, Pope John VII, Pope John XIII and Pope Paul II all breathed their final breath involved in the act of sex. It does answer why the current leader of the Jesus followers would try to bury the molesters that were found out when he was Bishop: obviously it wasn’t sex, the damage done to their rectums or vaginal walls were the result of some pagan version of stigmata. It also clears up the misconception I had that the Karma Sutra has existed for centuries, I did not realize it was such a new read.

    I was quite exhilarated to discover that witches introduced sex to Western civilization; up to this point I had always assumed that sex was necessary for procreation, and now I realize that Western civilization has lost the art of cloning itself. I knew how intimate the neural synopsises were but I did not realize how physically close to amoebas Republicans were. It had been a mystery on how Sarah Palin could have offspring, but thanks to your diligence, it all becomes clear. Of course, it opens up to the question whether this asexual aspect of Western civilization could not be classified as masturbation, but I will leave that to minds that obviously are far keener than mine.

    To answer what would Jesus do if he met a Craigslist hooker, must I really need to go into the ‘supposed’ career option of Mary Magdalene? It would seem that he would indeed ‘waste’ his time talking to a ‘gross sinner’. There is only one “nation” that could be considered in any extent to be a Christian nation – Vatican City. The American forefathers left a land where they felt prosecuted for a land to where they executed those who were there before. It would seem that with the actions of the American government in other nations that it is still continuing this tradition – so why would would insist on more blood being spilt?

    Thank you for this wonderful article on the views held by at least one Republican, which solidifies my opinion that true conservatism is dying a retched delayed death in America. I wonder, just so my writing can be geared towards the emerging type of Republicans, should I begin using the terms such as“spicks”, “coons”, “micks”, “wagon burners”, “rag heads”, “beaners”, and “Christ Killers” in order to clarify to whom I am referring? On second thought, I won’t waste my time. True conservatism is about responsibility to yourself, obviously this idea is lost upon such single-mindedness of derogatory and debasement in an outwardly direction. It’s just a shame that a term such as ‘mom’ should be attached to such a dismal display of hatred. It is a very humourous article, yet sadly I think it was not meant to be. Kinda scary…

  2. Dear Soccer Mom, if your intention was to sway me away from sex and drugs (and assumably rock n’ roll) you failed dismally. I actually had to pop narcotics like pez candy just to get through this article. Although I must say the links were most entertaining.

    I concur with A.B., the Victorian Era was a naughty naughty time. There were actually guidebooks printed up regularly detailing the best prostitutes, their specialties and houses of prostitution to visit. Housewives were fondled by doctors who thought all their ailments were caused by womb hysteria. But maybe that’s what you like about the 1800’s maybe you need a doctor to fiddle with your privates to feel good about yourself.

    Of all this the most compelling arguement against craig’s list is the pet ownership. I am veryvery sad for pets re-housed when children have grown tired of them.

  3. I did NOT approve of those links!!! Please remove them immediately! These links are offensive and are making these Canadians laugh at me.

  4. To the Subversify Editor I worked with: We did discuss a cartoon to go along with my story, but I did NOT approve of the phallus. Please cut the p*nis from that picture. It offends me.

  5. One of your statements, “single mom whores” puzzles me. If they are moms, don’t they already have babies? What do you propose to do with all these babies you think they should be pumping? Put them on the market for adoption? Isn’t that a little close to human trafficking?

    I think we should keep the links. They are far more informative than the article.

  6. They were randomized? Uh huh, so you’re saying Internet robots are calling me a psycho? I’m not stupid. I know what you’re trying to do with this. And it’s not funny. This just proves Subversify is a liberal crap magazine.

  7. “You shall have no other gods before me” – If I am not mistaken, and I rarely am on this subject, God and Jesus are two definitively separated mythos. By continually referring to Jesus over God, I would surmise that while blood is thicker than water, ten to one the old man isn’t too appreciative that the young whippersnapper is getting all the publicity, which would lead into the “You shall not make for yourself an idol”. Are not the stained glass depictions, the plastic Jesus paperweights, the “I heart Jesus” or “What would Jesus Do” bumper stickers modern versions of stone or plaster idols? What of the “you shall not kill/murder”, does not saying let the prostitutes get beaten, or get a potentially deadly disease be considered passive aggressively engaging in the pre-meditated murder of another individual? Lastly, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour”, I would think calling a person of Japanese descent a “gook”, or calling women whores or advocating for the forced breeding of those women would be considered yet another strike against what seem to infer as the backbone to your moral structure. Do yourself a favour, read your article then read this Hamas release from 2008:

    The Brigades of the Martyr Izz el-Deen al-Qassam, the military wing of the “Hamas” movement bombed on Monday (29/12) the port of Ashdod with “Grad” rockets and the settlement of Nahal Oz with three mortar shells. The Zionist enemy admitted the deaths of four rapists, including an officer, and injuries to more than 20 others wounded by the Qassam rockets.

    The group said in its “The Mujahduha bombed the Ashdod port, which lies 40 km north of the Gaza Strip, Grad rockets at 9:15 “which led to the death of Zionist rapists and injuring more than 20 others, three of them seriously.

    The Mujahduha battalions have also shelled the settlement of Nahal Oz with three mortar shells at 9:40 and the Zionist enemy admitted the killing of two soldiers, one officer and wounding four others.

    The statement said “We declare jihad on the work of shelling Zionist settlements with Grad rockets and mortar shells, which resulted in the recognition of the Zionist enemy of the killing of four rapists and wounding more than 20 others, three of them seriously.

    The group said the bombing was a response to the continued Zionist aggression against our people in Gaza and the West Bank, in response to the Zionist massacre in Gaza, which led to the deaths of more than 350 people and injured hundreds, and on the continuing unjust siege on our people.

    The American government has continually pointed to Al-Qaeda and Hamas as the two primary ‘terrorist’ organizations that threaten their limited tunnel vision view of the ‘free’ world. Tell me, Soccer mom, where is the difference in the tone to yours and Hamas? Do yourself a favour and stop hiding behind the coward’s cover of religious elitism.

  8. By the way, I would never write nor read anything that was part of some liberal agenda propaganda machine. Like the majority with your kind of thinking, which by the way is not a solely Republican or Tea Party prerogative, of pontificating without wanting to hear dissension or alternate views, you leave the impression of a cracked porcelain doll sitting in the corner covered in cobwebs because the giver of the doll told the little girl that she could not play with the toy because someday it’ll be worth something.

  9. Note to “Soccer Mom,”

    This is not the fucking Middle Ages – the bodies of women are no longer considered “baby factories” and sexual expression is no longer considered something “evil” by contemporary society. If you want a social environment like the one you describe in your article, I suggest you move to the Middle East: where “adulterers” are routinely stoned to death and the woman’s body is considered property of the male relavites she lives with.

    Also, this planet has quite enough little sentient monkeys running around – forcing women to have kids just adds to the surplus population of a species that’s already growing so fast that it threatens to outstrip this planet’s natural resources within the next 100 years. So you might want to reconsider that plan…

  10. Warren you asshole, I told you to remove those goddam links! You’re a bunch of sick people. For your information, my daughter has NEVER engaged in oral sex. None of my family EVER has. Oral sex is disgusting. I could sue you for defamation of a minor and I just might.

    But you know what? I don’t care. Keep the links up. Because I made my statement and I stick by everything I said regardless of your stupid snickering. I don’t think there’s a mom out there who doesn’t see things my way. I don’t think there’s a mom out there cheering for Craigslist to bring the adult services section back and those whorebags to keep soliciting their services to 15 year olds. If you think like that then you should be thrown in jail. Seriously.

    You all talk big right a bunch of liberal butt heads straight out of college. But I bet your mothers see things my way. Some day when you grow up try telling your eight year old child why you think the whores should be left on Craigslist. And I’ll be dialing Child Protective Services.

  11. AB Thomas, if you ever pick up a bible some day maybe you’ll read a passage that says “Jesus and the Father are one.” I don’t think God idolizes himself. How is that possible?

    I’m not going to get into a Christian discussion with you since you’re obviously a heretic. But I have no sympathy for prostitutes because THEY NEVER CHANGE. They want the right to sell their body. They want to have sex with a million different people because they don’t care. They want to be abused. They’re perverted people. Most of them are beyond counseling. They want a free license to do whatever they want and screw whoever they want. Guess what? I’m not going to let them get away with it. You change your ways, you are forgiven, like Mary Magdalene. You act like a whore, you get what you deserve. I don’t think Jesus ever said, continue on whoring and make God proud.

    I don’t even understand the whole thing about a prostitute getting “raped.” So what, isn’t that just like being a bad tipper or shoplifting? Oh, he didn’t pay me enough money so he “raped” me. Uh huh.

    I don’t really keep up with Hamas, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. My story is a wake up call saying just because you’re free to do what you want with your body doesn’t mean that I have to protect you. You pay the consequences for living like a street rat. If you don’t change, then you’re going to get what’s coming to you.

  12. [Quote=Soccer Mom]Warren you asshole, I told you to remove those goddam links! You’re a bunch of sick people. For your information, my daughter has NEVER engaged in oral sex. None of my family EVER has. Oral sex is disgusting.[/quote]

    1. The links are staying put – get used to it.

    2. How do you know what your kids are doing? You can’t be with them at all hours of the day and kids have this habit of keeping secrets from parents. This might be news to you, but teens are also sexual beings and tend to experiment – teenage virgins are quite rare, you know…

    3. Oral sex is actually pretty nice – don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

    [Quote=Soccer Mom]I don’t think there’s a mom out there who doesn’t see things my way.[/quote]

    You’d be dead wrong here – I happen to know a number of parents that are actually quite understanding of adolescent sexuallity and have liberated themselves from outmoded concepts of sexual “morality.”

    The mores and values you embrace are those of a patriarchal culture concerned with fostering children to boost numbers of offspring (due to high infant mortallity rates) while retaining those offspring as exclusive property of the male: such sexual mores are values have no place in a modern society (one marked by overpopulation and which no longer considers individuals as property) – many parents have caught onto this and instead teach their kids to make informed decisions about their own sexuality rather than dictate their own from on high.

    [Quote=Soccer Mom]Some day when you grow up try telling your eight year old child why you think the whores should be left on Craigslist. And I’ll be dialing Child Protective Services.[/quote]

    In case you haven’t noticed, this country is devolving into a thrid-world nation – by the time most recent college grads have 8 year-old kids there probably won’t be a CPS (or anything other than overbloated military secret police forces). So save your threats.

    [Quote=Soccer Mom]They want the right to sell their body. They want to have sex with a million different people because they don’t care.[/quote]

    And that’s their perogative, not yours – you don’t own their bodies and neither does society.

    [Quote=Soccer Mom]I don’t really keep up with Hamas, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.[/quote]

    You really should – the type of society they would set up closely resembles the one you describe in your article. Hell, if you can get past the whole “Jesus vs. Mohammed” thing (which is actually pretty minor – as the core philosophies attributed to them are quite similar) you might make good friends with those guys.

  13. Hate to disappoint you Soccer mom, but I have read the Christian mythological texts. There is a clear delineation between the Father and the Son:
    Matthew 4:1-10
    The was Jesus led up of the spirit into the wilderness to the tempted os the devil.
    [2] And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.
    [3] And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.
    [4] But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
    [5] Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,
    [6] And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
    [7] Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
    [8] Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
    [9] And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
    [10] Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
    I could cite other examples, but I suspect that you have the children’s “I can read!!!” or the heavily modified King James version of the Bible that further censors the original texts. You’re right, you shouldn’t waste your time arguing because there is no argument to be had. As to your de-humanization of what you delightfully call “whores”, I have friends who you would call them that word; they have, if not higher, moral standards than I do. There is great evil associated with prostitution, but there is also great evil associated with Christianity. Outside my town there is a mass unmarked grave of Native children, all victims of the Christian view that they were just heathens who required ‘enlightenment’. There children were taken away from their homes, many of them unable to speak English because their families were considered “unfit” because they did not know “God”. There are documented volumes of witness after witness by Native Canadians who were socially isolated, physically, sexually, and psychologically abused, demeaned and belittled by those who held their Christian faith as their shield for their actions.
    As one who some would be considered a “soccer dad”, I think that you set a bad example for any child with your words of hate. In the words that you have forgotten:
    John 8:3-11
    “And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto Him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto Him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the Law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest Thou?”
    “This they said, tempting Him, that they might have to accuse Him.”
    “But Jesus stooped down, and with His finger wrote on the ground, as though He heard them not. So when they continued asking Him, He lifted up Himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again He stooped down, and wrote on the ground.”
    “And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.”
    “When Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?”
    “She said, No man, Lord.”
    “And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”

    I hope you enjoyed your fifteen minutes of shame….

  14. I am a mom (of young women) and I approve of these links AND I defend “Craigs list whores” oh an I approve of oral sex too.

    In addition in no place does it even state Mary of Magdala was a prostitute/whore/adulterer. Try reading your sacred texts instead of letting some fat fingered bastard tell you what they say (while he secretly lusts after your daughters and/or sons dressed in their Sunday best)

  15. ” I personally feel that the naked female body is embarrassing.”

    “You all talk big right a bunch of liberal butt heads straight out of college.”

    “Let’s remember people, we are a Christian nation and have stronger moral conviction than the whores of Thailand, the dog-eating gooks of Japan and the forced abortions of China.”

    S.M., I’m going to assume that your overt racism (‘dog eating gooks’; etc.), your abysmal knowledge of the U.S. Constitution (‘we are a Christian nation’), your general arrogant snobbery (‘liberal butt-heads’) and your self-hate (‘the naked female body is embarrassing’) is, collectively, a form of satire.

    I’m going to assume this (1) for the sake of my blood-pressure, and (2) because to assume otherwise would be a grave insult to another human being – because it would mean that you really are a racist, homophobic, self-hating, narrow-minded Fundie twatwaffle.

    (Note; for future reference: I’m not straight out of college. I’m 56 years old. I studied your religion – and that of its ‘competitors’ – probably before you were born. It was enough to convince me that the beliefs you’ve espoused here amount to insanity.)

    Cheers, and stuff….


  16. Grainne, you are quite correct in Mary’s professed profession, I erred, mixing up the text of Pope Gregory who was the one who tied the career of prostitute to Mary. Damn I hate when I get mixed up.

  17. “God created sex to be enjoyed as an act of love and unselfish pleasure between a husband and wife.”

    This is a good statement. It doesn’t really hold true in our society, though, nor has it since the history of the bible began.

    “The bible has always encouraged monogamous sex.”

    1 Kings 11:3 (New International Version)

    He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.

    Now I may be mistaken, but I don’t think that’s monogamy. I’m not sure what possessed you to make that statement, unless it was what you’ve heard from your husband, since I’m sure a good Christian like you always obeys your husband as you would Christ. Perhaps your husband instructed you to speak to others in that manner in the name of Christ?

    Ephesians 5:22 (New International Version)

    Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

    Oh, wait. You said, “I have a dream too. I dream of a day when we will have a real feminist president who doesn’t waste time meddling in global issues but instead focuses on the family.”

    I don’t know too many feminists that put much emphasis on submitting to their husbands whether it be the husband’s authority or in the bedroom.

    “What would Jesus do if he ever met a Craigslist hooker? Would Jesus waste his time talking to such a gross sinner in the first place?”

    In case you haven’t read that part of the bible, or just don’t understand it, Jesus was very fond of a certain prostitute. When others were about to hurl rocks at her, He stepped in and had something to say.

    John 8:7 (New International Version)

    When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

    Jesus also had some things to be about pointing out the sins of others.

    Matthew 7:3-5 (New International Version)

    “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

    “Jesse Jackson once said ‘I had a dream.'”

    It’s sad that you don’t even know the difference between Jessee Jackson and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, who let PEACEFUL protests in order for African Americans to be treated as human beings. Peacefully standing up for what is right is a basic concept that Jesus tried to teach people.

    Your article is mean-spirited and loudly expresses your ignorance both of Christ and the bible. It also shows ignorance of realistic human life, world history, and common civility.

    I am a Christian and I don’t want to wrongly question your Christianity, but it seems to me that you have little knowledge of the words of the man you claim to follow. The following verse is the reason for this correction. As a Christian, I don’t much appreciate people who foolishly make Jesus look bad.

    1 Peter 2:15 (New International Version)

    For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.

  18. Glad Spaceeagle acknowledged who really had the dream, as in famous for the line.

    Soccer Mom do you really believe that removing Craigslist prostitutes will finalize any further attempts at prostitution? No, it won’t. It will simply morph into some other type of social network ad for prostitution, or Craigslist Innuendo Ads that are not difficult to interpret for the truly interested.

    Jesus would waste his time talking to a “gross sinner”. How much knowledge exactly does the Christian Soccer Mom have about one of the most prominent holy figures of all time? And to think that I am a muslim woman saying this. I don’t agree with prositution however, since you are so concerned I would recommend that you make prayer for all who are lead astray to follow the straight path instead of insult them and judge them for their desperate acts of survival. I do have compassion and understand that desperate calls lead to desperate measures. Including men that are unable to to find partners that will have actual sex with them and must resort to paying for it.

    Based on your ideal that woman should be at home with their families blah, blah, blah…that would constitute some form of prostitution. You give your husband sex and take care of the children while he works and brings home the pay. You really have contradicted yourself with that statement entirely Mrs. Real Estate Agent.

    And what exactly is wrong with a woman’s body being beautiful and desired? Islamically, there are three reasons why a woman shouldn’t have children:

    1. She would have a condition such as illness or mental state which would prevent her from being able to raise her children.

    2. If the couple followed two different religions and would have much debate about the upbringing of their children’s faiths. These relationships mostly end up in divorce or add distress and confusion to the children’s lives.
    3. And last but not least, if it was detrimental to the relationship that a woman’s appearance was flawed due to childbearing. Some men rely on the beauty of a woman to sustain a relationship and unfortunately find that as a basis of love. (Thus, explains why some men do go to prostitutes, because man was created to objectify) Call that backwards, but it’s an innate desire. That doesn’t mean that all men are going to cheat or hire prostitutes, but it does mean that most men are aroused by a woman’s appearance.

    Anyway, I wanted to commend Soccer Mom for saving the day and contributing to prostitute prevention tactics. One prostitute less equals another girl raped. I wonder if Walmart carries a line of your super cape badge.

  19. Looks like no man has every made you scream….. in a good way.

    I was raised in a right wing religious society. If there is breath left me, I won’t allow that as a federal law.

    Suck on that.

  20. There is one other thing I wanted to address.

    You said, “Would Jesus waste his time talking to such a gross sinner in the first place?”

    As far as Jesus associating with sinners goes:

    Luke 15:1-7 (New International Version)

    Luke 15

    Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

    Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

    It seems that you may have gotten mixed up and thought the words of the Pharisees and teachers of the law. Verse 2 says:

    “But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

    Jesus was at odds with the scribes, Pharisees, and Sadducees throughout the New Testament. It was people who made statements like you make and who have that same “I’m better than those people” attitude who killed Jesus.

    Matthew 23:1-15 (New International Version)

    Matthew 23
    A Warning Against Hypocrisy

    Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

    “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries[a] wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.

    “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
    Seven Woes on the Teachers of the Law and the Pharisees
    “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. [14] [b]

    “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.


    1. Matthew 23:5 That is, boxes containing Scripture verses, worn on forehead and arm
    2. Matthew 23:14 Some manuscripts include here words similar to Mark 12:40 and Luke 20:47.

    Since Jesus told us that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, I don’t see how you can say, “I personally feel that the naked female body is embarrassing.”

    1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (New International Version)

    Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

    The Muslim woman, mayas, who commented on your post seems to have more understanding than you, who call yourself a Christian. Rather than hate and scorn mayas because she’s a Muslim, you might want to listen to her. It seems that she has some Christ-like wisdom to offer. Above all, remember:

    1 John 4:8 (New International Version)

    Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

  21. My more-direct question is this: How and why did this piece of drivel wind up slipping by the intelligent and forward-thinking editorial staff here and wind up in print???

    Just wondering….

  22. This is published under humor, but it’s less than humorous, regardless of the links, considering the number of people who really think along these lines who have elected people who want to make this kind of thinking the law.

  23. Subversify much like the Christian “God” is no respecter of persons and believes everyone deserves a dissenting voice. Also we have been despitefully accused of being all “left” all the time, now it will be a little harder to call us complete lefties.

  24. So what “soccer mom” is really saying is she was tired of paying for her husbands medical bills for VD ?

  25. @ Soccer Mom

    “I don’t even understand the whole thing about a prostitute getting “raped.” So what, isn’t that just like being a bad tipper or shoplifting? Oh, he didn’t pay me enough money so he ‘raped’ me. Uh huh.”

    So, you’re telling me that if a person sells contraband at his storefront and is robbed, he hasn’t been robbed? What if it was YOUR store?

  26. Correction to my correction:

    “In case you haven’t read that part of the bible, or just don’t understand it, Jesus was very fond of a certain prostitute.”

    I said prostitute when I should have said adulterer, though it is widely believed and taught, even in the bible college I attended, that the woman was a prostitute.

  27. “You know some sick pedophile men out there like doing it with a pregnant chick.”

    A man doesn’t have to be a pedophile to like “doing it with a pregnant chick. Pedophilia refers to someone who has a preoccupation of having sex with children. Are you telling me that you and your husband didn’t have sex once the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Some of the best sex I had was when my wife was pregnant. Oh, I enjoyed having oral sex with her, too. I’m 54, BTW. I’m not right out of college, either.

  28. “my daughter has NEVER engaged in oral sex. None of my family EVER has.”

    How do you know? Are they always in your presence? Do you always watch your relatives having sex? Just curious as to how you know none of them has ever engaged in oral sex.

  29. “those whorebags to keep soliciting their services to 15 year olds.”

    I’m at a loss to understand your equating prostitution with pedophilia. I’m also at a loss to understand your preoccupation with pedophilia. You seem to think about it much more than is normal and want to project it onto others.

  30. *facepalm*

    Boy, this is as backward as it gets. Thanks to the Subversify Staff for the links, they were the only funny parts to this article. I get the joke, but I can only hope that article was put in here as reasoning ad absurdo.

    Soccer Mom: instead of steamrolling your way through issues you don’t understand, try and sit down with a cup of tea and THINK, read a book that wasn’t written before the 1500s and THINK. I can’t say enough about the thinking part.

    Oy, wast retarded maen?

  31. Sorry, re-read the page and I understand a little better. Actually, I think it’s nice to have that hateful Christian smear in written format, maybe we should even have a section for it on Subversify, “a collection of inane gabber from all-round skullfuckers”. Thanks to the staff, I enjoyed this exercise in critical thought.

    And it sure beat me out of my afternoon stupor.

  32. Gifts, dinner, movie……might as well get her a gift certificate……better yet give her the money so she can shop where she wants. So now we are back to money for sex.

    Women = time x money, time is money, therefore money squared is women.
    Money is the root of all problems. So the root sign and the little 2 cancel each other out, there for women=problems.

  33. A woman’s behind — an altar to be worshiped on ones knees…

    SM? I am your worst nightmare incarnate (or quite possibly your fantasy). My religion is S-E-X and I do horrid things with all manner of women (quite a few being soccer moms, BTW — repression making for the best perversions).

    In fact, I’m willing to bet that if you were to spend some time with me, you’d be singing a different tune.




    i stopped reading after about halfway through, cuz ur fucking stupid!

    I basically said fuck the rest of your crappy ass post…

    im gonna say some things, and answer a few of the questions u asked, about the cl whores…

    (since i made 48oo over the weekend off cl- and im just kinda bored waiting for my next date..by the way stupid bitch, i could have made way more money if yaaaaalllll wern’t doin all this stupid stupid shit to try to stop whats gonna happen no matter what)

    u asked

    q) why dont they just get a job?

    a) BITCH did u make 48oo dollars over the weekend with your good looks?

    fuck no u didn’t bitch.
    cuz ur a fuckin soccer mom whore. i bet you’re fat as hell.
    just kidding
    no I’m not.

    whats your daugherts name and number…
    ill set her up in some high heels real quick bitch.
    just kidding
    im gonna go, i got shit to do like pay bills and wrap up toys for my kid.

    or wait there’s no way a “working girl” could ever have a real life or real responsibilities huh?

  35. In a nutshell(oh my nuts) the women on CL are a. sluts b. snobs c. both. besides being liars and/or dishonest; who never keep their word about anything and they LOVE the typical crapola email services that are
    provide by huge sites for the simple purpose of wasting my time and the
    time of men or guys who want…something. What the guys want in a fruit
    shell is whatever the women APPEAR to want. Thankfully, in my area there
    have recently been a number of sites that do what CL does. And hopefully
    does it better. Nobody does it better? Think again.

  36. Thanks for the hilarious read. Although I should charge you for the ER bill for when I had to be rushed there via ambulance because my laughter caused me to go into convulsions. I seriously hope this is a joke because its just too sad to comprehend a female with beliefs such as yourself touting herself as a feminist. Feminists are pro abortion, all about the women working outside the home family be damned, and I would imagine they would be for prostitution because it is a woman’s choice.

  37. You’re a dim-witted fool with misguided good intentions. Removing posts from Craigslist does not, as you say, “protect our children from all the sex addicts, child molesters and sicko rapists out there who would defile their virginal 18-year-old temples.” The majority of sex criminals will merrily go about their way, regardless of your silly Craigslist flagging, Get a life.

    I suggest you take your self-righteous, religious idiocy elsewhere and re-consider how ridiculous your actions are. There is no God. Creationism is an unsupportable assertion by people too ignorant to think outside the box they were stuffed into as children. Not every user of Craigslist is a pedophile or child molester. Just mind your own business, you silly bitch.

  38. As a mother and a grandmother, I’d thank you kindly not to put words in my mouth. You are a seriously fucked up individual. I’d very much like to believe that such venom has to be satirical… it simply must be. Sadly there are limits to my naiveté.

    Do not walk but run…run as fast as your Christian, soccer mom legs can carry you to the nearest psych ward. I think a little vacation and strong medication is in order. Stat.

    Thank you to W.D. Noble for my new favorite word… twatwaffle… just doesn’t get any better than that.

  39. LOL what is this crap. If a man prostitutes a woman, he is a pimp. If a woman prostitutes herself, she is a prostitute, FULL STOP. She is not a victim, nor are any men anywhere to blame, ever. Nor are any women anywhere responsible for “saving her” when she is selling her own body. People need to learn to mind their own fucking business. Obviously this is a joke/fiction post. More click-bait on this page than can be fathomed

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