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Dr. Phal’s Moment for the Family

By neonorth Apr 29, 2009 #cartoon #Dr. Phal #Reprints

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5 thoughts on “Dr. Phal’s Moment for the Family”
  1. But Dr Phal, what about the video games with buttons? Does that give an unfair advantage to female competitors? Or just more experience for the male’s future relationships?

  2. Dr Phall Im wondering if you could share your thoughts on something. I just read that a new technology has been developed that will allow the graphics on video games to portray women with actual normal sized longer will they be mammary challenged..will this effect our youth?..also as a mother and a once wife I would like to put my two cents in and say I see the theory behind this and totally agree, but it has been my experience that the skills learned in the not seem to enhance the sexual identity prowess or appetite of those men over just saying…

  3. Although it says mayas is the author, she is not. This is the brilliant work of Anthony Thomas.

  4. After speaking to Dr. Phal at length, stroking his intellect for what seemed an eternity and spew after spew of insight, he has the following things to say:

    While at first glance, female competitors would seem to have an edge on their male counterparts for the hand eye and reaction time of the button manuevers and the average size of toggle swtiches, however a more experienced joy stick players knows the advantages of extending, stretching and retracting the digits in such a manner that develops the skills required just as their female counterparts. It has also been ascertained that females have a tendency to fixate upon a certain button and toggle direction that may even out the playing field out in that as well. In regards to future relationships, depending on the openness of the male in this aspect, there is a toggle switch located just behind the joystick that is version of the more well known female toggle switch that can be manipulated in a manner that can be extrapulated towards a hetrosexual inclination with a female as well. In this men have a slight advantage as do not have a similar appendage that can imitate a joystick for the female to take full advantage of the torpedo loader though it must be said that men in general are much more forgiving in letting a female explore the methodology in mimicing the male sensitivity issues.

    On the issue of mammary glands: video game developers only reflect what society has fashioned as what a woman should look like, therefore since video games are a product of what the media designs for the masses to digest in terms of what is acceptable it seem to me that having normal sized breasts projected into the mind of the youth a good thing. After all when you have a generation of young men throwing themselves off the cruise ship of asexuality into the ocean of raging hormones, they should realize that they can float just as well with water wings than with a life raft.

    For the issue of the usage of the joystick: science states three things about this matter; firstly if a man uses his joystick before he lets someone else use it, there is a longer time period involved before the torpedo gets loaded. Secondly if a man exercises with his joystick every day then there is increased blood flow to the joystick that helps it maintain a stiffer gyro base to it rather than the usual thought that more use loosens the rotating and tension within the tendons on most other kinds of joysticks that are not made of those particular substances. The third theory is that by practicing with the joystick everyday a man decreases the shrinking of the joystick shaft. With that being said, Dr. Phal would add that alot of the problems associated with the proper usage of a joystick and the amount of times a joystick can be used in a session is dependant on the experience of the owner and the user of the joystick in the first place. It’s like that saying, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink” – this isn’t totally true – you ram a hot poker up the horse’s butt you can damn well make him jump into the lake and he’ll drink as he’s drowning. If a man thinks he can get away with poor joystick skills he will do so – women have to raise their low expectations in their men or he’ll take the path of least work.

    Though my cheeks are red at what Maya said, I can claim no acclaim for this – in the middle of the night Dr. Phal just stands up and stares at me until he done spurting out his thoughts on whatever subject matter he is a pondering on…

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