A response to Greg Gutfeld

By:  Neonorth

As Canadians we are quite used to our military being mocked, however Afghanistan has been racking up quite a body count of Canadian soldiers, including a ‘friendly fire’ incident where American jets fired upon a Canadian unit killing several soldiers. At the time Greg Gutfeld was mocking Lt.-Gen. Leslie’s remarks, four Canadian soldiers where coming home from Afghanistan, not to get manicures or wearing capris, but in body bags. Two days later Greg Gutfeld did give a hollow apology in a written statement, “I realize my words may have been misunderstood. It was not my intent to disrespect the brave men, women and families of the Canadian Military, and for that I apologize”.

The short response I could possibly have for Greg Gutfeld is: you fucking dick-less mental deficient twit, go smell your own farts a little more; they have about the same molecular density as your brain.

However, unlike Greg Gutfeld, I do possess the ability to form complex thoughts so I would like to give an answer that I am sure someone out there will create a picture book to show him later on. A question for you Greg; how would you like to have a neighbor who calls you his friend but if you say no to him borrowing your lawn mower he threatens to put the barrel of his gun to your temple? That’s the reality that Canada faces; every couple of years or so there is some American governor, senator or congressperson who suggests that if Canada doesn’t give its water, wood, oil, natural gas or mineral resources over to the United States, America should take it by force. Don’t misunderstand, I have a great respect for most of the Americans I have met, my life would be less rich if it weren’t for Berkeley Breathed, bill Watterson, George Lucas, Gene Roddenberry, the Ramones, The Misfits and Elvis, but the United States is not Utopia. Canada is not a Shangri-la itself, but we never present ourselves to be. Like you Greg, the American government needs to grow up and realize that it is not the center of the universe, that not everyone idolizes it and as Mick and Keith penned, “you can’t always get what you want”. Canada, though it outwardly seems weak could stand alone and meet the needs of its people’s needs of energy, food, water and materials for shelter; America, with all its rhetoric and patriotic diatribes of being the land of plenty does not have the resources to do the same, it cannot survive without the importation of a majority of raw materials.

Here’s one last thought for you Greg; The American symbol is the Bald Eagle; Canada’s symbol is the beaver. The eagle is a fearsome singular predator with talons and a beak that shred its prey apart with ease; a beaver works in families and gnaws on wood. But an eagle can only take down one animal at a time, a beaver dam can alter the ecology of an area within a matter of hours. The Bald Eagle needs protection to ensure its future; the beaver is slowly gaining ground in areas that aren’t their natural grounds. It’s a matter of history: America became independent through guns and corpses; Canada became independent through ink and paper. To unite the north and the south, America spilled blood; to unite east and west, Canada built a railroad. America picks a President to their voice to the world, a sort of one man against the world; Canada picks a party with a leader to voice ours, a sort of mob mentality. Canada may not flex its muscle in such an overt fashion as the American government does with its military, we don’t have to – perhaps instead of degrading Canada for not loudly stomping about the world, you should ponder why Canada doesn’t feel the need to and respect that Canada and the United States are friends.