Interview with a Sexologist

By: Maya Salem

When one hears the term Sexology, one might envision the investigation of a sexual fantasy or a discreet study of erotic encounters tabulated and recorded. The word sex is usually defined as a fulfilling act of adult intimacy involving one or more companions; the compilation of elements that can include arousal, attraction, lust, love and/or passion. Generally, one does not suspect anything other than a primitive instinctual need for animalistic gratification whose consequences can either be viewed as moral or immoral based on circumstances and social convention (affairs, prostitution, exploitation etc). Besides simply being “naughty and hot” the topic of sex delves deep into the psyche, revealing the darker realities in the human persona; an unheard of inhibitory side that may not be as appealing to the average Joe as the word itself. Professor Prok a certified sexologist/sociologist gives us the lowdown on sexology in some of its more extreme manifestations.

Professor Prok: Rebel with a cause to inform society.

Maya: What is sexology?

Professor Prok: A study of human sexual behavior in its many manifestations that is present in any society.

Maya: How long have you been a sexologist?

Professor Prok: Since 1980

Maya: How were you introduced to sexology?

Professor Prok: I affiliated with a sect “AASECT” (American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists)

Maya: What piqued your interest in sexology?

Professor Prok: Natural outgrowth of my study of humans in society as a sociologist. Sociology is the study of individuals and roots in relationship with one another.

Maya: Was the interest for financial gain?

Professor Prok: No, it was for informational and educational purposes.

Maya: What have you learned from being a sexologist?

Professor Prok: I’ve learned that human sexuality is one of the most important drives that an individual in their life experiences. According to Abraham Maslow, it’s third in the hierarchy of needs.

Maya: How do people in search of advice approach such a discreet topic?

Professor Prok: Most often they may look for a sexologist or be referred by a medical or psychological health care provider after discussing related issues.

Maya: What was one of your most significant memorable cases?

Professor Prok: A female colleague of mine viewed a video documentary titled “You Don’t Know Dick,” which is a transsexual biography of a woman going through sexual reassignment surgery to become a man. After viewing the film, she realized that she herself was unhappy with her gender, so she went through counseling and was surgically transformed into the male that she realized she should have been born as in the first place.

Maya: Any abnormal aspects?

Professor Prok: In the realm of sexuality most commonly the only thing that is abnormal is that which you cannot do; because of social convention and conformity.

Maya: Can you describe a jaw dropping situation?

Professor Prok: Yes, one case involved encountering a sub culture of the slave master eroticism. I counseled a sex slave who willingly subjected himself to various types of debasing; physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. He was kept in a locked cage and the master was responsible for feeding, beating and binding him. He was disciplined in bondage for behaving sadistically. The master also performed acute asphyxiation, cutting and smeared him with fecal matter. The slave approached me about his desire to reconvene with his former slave master after running away. He is defined as a masochist.

Maya: Oh my! Did you help him?

Professor Prok: I advised him, if that’s what he really wanted, he should be careful and consult with a counselor so he does not injure himself or put himself into danger.

Maya: How has this experience influenced your outlook on such a matter?

Professor Prok: To each his own. We have to respect individual choices so far as they are not injurious to that person. I counseled him. People are to effectively integrate their needs for survival with the choices they make in their erotic life. Ingestion of other people’s fecal matter and urine is not healthy. It’s medically countered and indicated as injurious.

Maya: What have you learned from being a sexologist?

Professor Prok: I learned that there’s much variety from sexual expression, desire, and need as there are people who wish to pursue any erotic fantasy or desire that they might have.

Maya: Any closing thoughts?

Professor Prok: Nurturing the healthy expression of sexuality in one’s life is an important consideration of a competent sexologist and the preceding is not necessarily deemed healthy, just a couple of existence counseling experiences that I have encountered in my capacity as a sexologist.

Maya: Thank you, it was a pleasure.

10 Comments on “Interview with a Sexologist”

  1. Nice Work. I am interested though, it what the difference is between a sexologist and a sexual surrogate. There is a sexual surrogate in our area who performs many of the same counseling functions as he describes.
    Also I did not find any of his stories excessively shocking or terrifying. It seems to me that perhaps those with especially culturally repulsive behavior probably don’t go to a sexologist.
    I would be interested in where he recieved his training and licensing for sexology and how he maintains it. Usually licensed individuals have to do a certain number of ongoing credit hours.

  2. I found this interview to be an interesting read. However as Grainne stated his stories didn’t seem to be very shocking, or terrifying. I thought your interview style was very good, just simple questions and let the interviewee do the talking. I also would have been interested in learning a little more about where he received his education and certification. All in all a very good interview.

  3. Great interview, Maya. Especially since this is your first one. I think the questions were well thought out, and did pique my interest. I’m not sure that I agree that sexuality rates third in our hierarchy of needs…but I’m judging from my own personal stand point. I agree with Grainne…nothing particularly shocking to his tales, but maybe that is saying something about my own “secretive” knowledge that I’ve learned through out the years. All in all, good job! I hope to read more from you.

  4. To answer Grainne’s question: I do believe a sexual surrogate takes a more “hands on” approach. A sexologist speaks more than acts. A sexual surrogate acts more than speaks. If that is clear enough for you.

  5. Nice job Maya. Not exactly an exciting subject but you did a good job with it. I might have been interested more in his background and training. Not many know much about sexologists except those that have happened for one reason or another, run into them. I can not recall anyone that I know every contacting one for help. Maybe that would have been good too, knowing that he really doesn’t give help but rather accepts others for their desires for study purposes. Or maybe that is a wrong impression on my part.

  6. Grainne, I believe that a sexual surrogate tends to be more personal than a sexologist. They are known to get physical as well, either therapeutically or for demonstration purposes.

    This is in fact my first interview, which I planned to combine with a psychological opinion as well, but that didn’t work out to my advantage. I have yet to devise a manner in which I feel comfortable enough to ask for the skeletons in one’s closet. Even if it means digging deep into pockets. Maybe I’ll find a mini van or two. However, your tips do help and I appreciate it.

  7. Hello Mya.

    I read your article with particular interest because I have actually worked with a sex therapist and sex surrogate before. (Heather Lynn says I should clarify as a WRITER I did so, so as to prevent a misunderstanding :D)

    You did a good job of objectifying the field. I’m not sure why everyone states that they were expecting something more “shocking.” I guess there’s a taboo that comes with workers in the sex field. People expect it to be a shocking line of work, when in actuality it’s just an extension of regular therapy. This probably goes back to the strong conservative streak that is ingrained in most Americans. Americans have a superstitious fear of sex, that probably comes from a predominantly Christian religion.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that sexologists are considered doctors of the profession and have the qualifications to teach and conduct research, whereas sex therapists are limited to counseling?

    As a journalist, I would ask why the article didn’t come to a stronger conclusion. But as a human being, I must say I agree with you. I don’t have any strong opinions on sexuality. I am not against sexual freedom nor do I advocate more sexuality than there already is in society. I might have personal feelings about people and their sexual choices, but I cannot say that I form strong opinions, based on logic. I guess I just know too much to be too narrow minded.

    To be honest, I think the line between sex surrogate, swinger, escort, prostitute, pornographer and single person looking for “love” is very thin. I don’t like people that would condescend one above the other. It could be argued that sexology in general is just the commercialization of sex in the intellectual and psychological community.

    Anyway, I enjoyed your article.

  8. For myself the reason I mentioned the lack of shock is because one of the questions was “What was a jaw dropping experience?” My jaw didn’t drop anywere. In my state Sexual Surrogates are not allowed to touch or interact sexually with clients and have a buisiness license. They are however allowed to set up an office, see clients and help them through issues similar to what was described here. Things you may not want to reveal in a normal counseling session. In addition to information about training it occurs to me that it would have been nice to add information on how to contact a Sexologist should you or someone you know want to. Is there a national registry as there is with Marriage and Family Counselors and Social Workers. Every state has its own. Here’s the one in my state http://www.bbs.ca.gov/. In any case I think this would be good information. Anyone can say they are a Sexologist, but it would be good to be able to log on, check credentials and see if they have been reported for any misuse.

  9. Very good Maya!

    OK, now how does Professor Prok actually ehlp people? By lending his ears? Hands on? :)) Being the unique beings that we all are, of course our sexual perference are going be different as well. I cannot tell you how many times I have been confronted by another who would express their sexual fetishes. I once owned a funky boutique and offered clubwear, exotic dancewear plus sold sex toys, etc. One day a older man walked in and asked one of my employer if she had his shoes ready…I was all ears and watched her go to the back of the store and came back out with a pair of her shoes in a bag..he opened the bag, took a sniff, closed the bag back up and handed her a 100 dollar bill. By then I had realized the man was paying her for her stinky shoes…the stinkier the better…he was headed home he told her to “enjoy her shoes”…get my whiff? This man’s fetish was heels that reeked to high heavens and the stinkier the heels, the more it turned him on. He did not need a partner, the heels took the place of a physical body. And might I add, this man obviously was well to do and damn good looking too. I was dumb-founded..For one hundred dollars, he could have paid for call girl service. OK, anohter story before I go here. As a younger woman and upon a double dog dare, I acted and played the part of a dominatrix…the requests the clients made/wanted sometimes were so off the wall, I would become a nervous wreck thinking aobut what I had to do…these fellas got off on being whipped, chained, handcuffed, yelled at, cussed at, bitch slapped and so on. It is unbelievable what some of these people pay their hard earned money for. And here again, these services are not cheap by any means…and there was nothing really sexual performed like sexual intercourse or blow jobs and etc. It was purely pretty much self destruction on their part with some help. The money was good so I stayed with it for several years and besides that I found it to be humorous in a sense..and once in a while, a client would get rowdy and I would get a little scared..but always there were body guards/bouncers, whatever you would call them to handle anyone that showed signs of getting out of control. Then there is the pornography store..disgusting that some of these places have private booths for customers to view flicks and also provide glory holes for them to use…Course I never went into these places but have heard the stories about them. Then there was a young man about half my age asked me if I would consider being his “Mrs. Jones”..being a millionaire he could pay me a handsome sum he said..Course I said hell no way Jose! So there is all kinds of ways a person express and relieve their sexual desires/hangups. My own…well, I lean more towards exotic than traditional… I’m naughty but in a nice way. :))

    Great interview and are there more in the works?

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